Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
