I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Randomize
