i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize