i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
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