I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
