i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
another moral hangover. fuck.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
You've changed since you got that strap on
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
