he thought i was a dude.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
