is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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