so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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