I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
