Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Randomize
