he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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