I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
