i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Randomize
