the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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