Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Randomize
