your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
