I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize