oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
