I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Randomize