I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
