You really coming over, don't trick.
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
