You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
