Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I think people are normalizing furries
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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