Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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