My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize