she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
