i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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