She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
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