I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Randomize