So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
