Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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