I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
