hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
