It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
