he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
