Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
it's great music for shaving your balls
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
