pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
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