my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
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