you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
