I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
