sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
