omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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