isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
