Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
Randomize
