I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Randomize
