is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
