i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
