Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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