Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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