just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
