Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
