i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
