ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
