this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
The dick lei will go down in squad history
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
