I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
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