So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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