I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
