I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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