So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
